


Nice Doggie

by Dissenter



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Crack, Dogs, Family, Gen, Hellhounds, Humor, Pets, rescue dog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 10:57:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4017181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dissenter/pseuds/Dissenter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s black, it’s menacing, it has slavering jaws filled with razor sharp teeth and glowing red eyes that reflect the very fires of hell, it’s roughly the size of a Shetland pony and it exudes an aura of horrifying menace. Its name is… Trixiebell?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nice Doggie

**Author's Note:**

> Dawn gets a dog. It may kinda sorta be a hellhound

To be perfectly honest, Buffy hadn't been paying much attention when Dawn asked if she could have a dog. She’d been in the middle of sparring with Giles, and had just said “Yeah sure whatever” before the question actually registered. Dawn had skipped off in delight before Buffy could take it back and truthfully Buffy didn’t have the heart to change her mind, after everything Dawn had been through. She was regretting that now.

“What… is that? She said flatly, refusing to take her eyes off the Thing.

“This is Trixiebell, isn't she _adorable_ ” Dawn gushed. “Look she can do all sorts of tricks. Fetch the stake Trixie, you can do it come on girl.” Buffy just stared in disbelief as the hellhound dropped a slightly slobbery stake at Dawn’s feet, tail wagging.

“When you said you wanted a dog I thought you meant something more docile. Like a Pitbull, or a Rottweiler. You know, something that doesn’t dissolve the carpets when it slobbers.”

“But Buffy, she’s a rescue dog. Her previous owners were absolutely horrible to her, they kept her chained up in this dungeon and they never took her for walks, and they only ever fed her damned souls, everyone knows hellhounds need a well-balanced diet with plenty of red meat, and live prey. She just needs a loving home.” Buffy gave up at this point.

“Fine, but you have to feed it and take it for walks.” The look of delight on Dawns face was almost enough to make up for the sizzling holes in the carpet.

It was two days later when Buffy and Dawn were out walking with the dog that they were attacked, by a vampire. Before Buffy could even get her stake out Trixiebell attacked, and in the space of about three seconds ripped the vampire’s head off, before sauntering back and collapsing on Dawns feet with a huff. Buffy eyed the dog contemplatively.

“You know, I think she’s starting to grow on me.”

…

After that Dawn insisted on taking Trixiebell around and introducing her to all of their friends. The look on Giles’s face was one that Buffy would treasure for a while.

“What on earth are you two doing with a hellhound?”

“Her name’s Trixiebell, isn’t she just the cutest thing ever?” Sometimes Buffy did wonder if growing up as the slayer’s sister might have warped Dawns perceptions of cute a bit.

“Trixiebell”, Giles’s tone was one of flat disbelief. “You called it Trixiebell?”

“Yep, I think it suits her don’t you?” Giles had clearly decided Dawn was insane, because he addressed his next question to Buffy.

“And you let her have this thing as a pet?”

“Well I wasn’t sure at first but now I think she’s the perfect pet for Dawn.” Buffy replied perkily.

“Dare I ask why?”

“Well she eats vampires. When I was Dawn’s age I would have loved a dog that eats vampires.”

“Yes well, I suppose you might have a point.” Was all Giles had to say in response.

…

Trixiebell’s meeting with Xander didn’t go nearly so smoothly. Upon seeing her he jumped three feet in the air, shrieked like a girl, and then grabbed a chair and started making jabbing motions towards the hellhound.

“Get back, evil demony thing, stay away from Buffy and Dawn.” Trixiebell growled at this, in Buffy’s personal opinion it sounded like the opening of the gates of hell. Clearly Dawn didn’t agree.

“Awww you poor thing, did the big mean Xander scare you.” Turning to face Xander “You should be ashamed of yourself, scaring a poor defenceless animal." Luckily, before the situation could escalate further, Anya walked in.

“Oh my God, is that a purebred Infernal Hellhound? She’s absolutely gorgeous. What’s her name?” Buffy wished she could be more surprised at Anya’s reaction.

“Yes it is. Her name is Trixiebell, and she was rescued from an absolutely awful home. Do you know they only ever fed her on lost souls?” Dawn was delighted at having found a fellow enthusiast.

“No, really? That’s awful, everyone knows Hellhounds need live prey in their diet.”

“Some people just can’t be trusted to take care of animals. Hey if you’re interested, they rescued a few others from the same place and they’re all perfectly lovely dogs, in need of a good home.” Dawn was always eager to spread the word.

“Hmm you know I’ve been thinking about getting a guard dog for the Magic Box.” Anya considered. “I might just stop by the shelter.” At this point Xander apparently gave up on reality.

“I can’t deal with this I’m going back to bed. Wake me when the next apocalypse starts.”

…

Buffy had actually expected Spike to approve. He wasn’t exactly the sort of person who would object to dangerous pets, so she certainly wasn’t expecting him to lock himself in his crypt and refuse to come out until the thing was gone.

“But Spike, she’s only trying to be friendly.” Was Dawns idea of a rational argument.

“Sorry little bit, I’ve just had a few bad experiences with hellhounds. Are you sure that’s a suitable pet for a teenager Buffy?”

“She eats vampires. The dog stays.” Buffy responded.

“You know I don’t find that terribly reassuring.”

“Good.” Buffy let out a truly evil grin. “Let’s hope the rest of Sunnydale’s vampire community feel the same way.”

…

Word had apparently spread, because Willow and Tara were refusing to open their door.

“I’m sorry Dawn. I’m sure Trixiebell is a perfectly lovely dog but I don’t think she’d get on with Fluffy.” Willow shouted through the door.

“Who the hell is Fluffy?” Buffy wondered out loud.

“He’s our new familiar. It’s traditional for witches to have black cats don’t you know.” Tara answered. Through the door Buffy and Dawn heard a menacing roar which would not have sounded out of place in the jungle. Buffy suddenly had a horrible suspicion.

“When you say cat, what kind of cat are we talking. Is it a house cat?” The silence from the other side of the door told her all she needed to know. "Willow!"

“Well now that you come to mention it, he may be a little bit bigger, than most domestic cats.” Willow ventured cautiously.

“How big Willow.”

“Sort of panther sized.”

“Willow, are you keeping a panther locked up in your spare bedroom?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It would be cruel to keep a panther locked up like that.” Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. “We keep him in a magical pocket dimension in the basement. That way he has room to roam. And anyway, he’s not a panther, he’s a panther demon, they’re like panther’s but with added demonic powers.” Buffy groaned. That was the trouble with allowing pets. As soon as one person got one they all wanted one.

**Author's Note:**

> I just thought it would be really funny if one of the characters got a pet hellhound and was utterly convinced it was the most adorable thing on earth. It was originally going to be Buffy, but then I decided Dawn fit better.


End file.
